Now that the holidays have passed and you have some breathing space, it may be time to consider how you can turn those Happy New Years wishes into reality. 2012 is a brand new chapter in your book of life and you are the one holding the pen.

I like to start my new year off with a little soul searching about my desires and intentions for year. I’m not talking about resolutions here. Covered that in my previous post. Instead, I like to take a broad brush approach to what I visualize for my life in the coming year. I hit the usual categories: work, finances, relationships, family, recreation, etc. Then I look at the actuality of what happened in the previous year in each of those areas and consider what changes may need to be made if I want my new life intentions to come to pass.

I invite you to join me in this exercise to create a happy, healthy new year:

1. If you don’t have a journal, that’s the first step in the process. It doesn’t have to be fancy. Just a book with blank pages.Resist the temptation to journal on your computer. There’s an emotionally supportive component to handwriting your journal.
   
2. On the first page write out all your desires and intentions for the new year. You can use bullet points or write a narrative. Be sure to cover all the significant aspects of your life. Let yourself dream. Giving yourself the opportunity to have dreams that make you feel happy anticipation is a real boost to your mind, hormonal, nervous and cardiovascular systems.
3. Page two of your 2012 journal will be your list of how things went for you in 2011 in each of those areas of your life. Be honest and attempt to bypass the urge to wallow in those areas that didn’t go so well. Remember, the past is the past. You’re about to create a better future.
4. Now on the next page, after honest evaluation, write down any changes you need to make in order to make room for your happy new year. For instance, if you had some bad financial events in 2011, what part did you play in that? You can only change what’s in your control. So look only at what you can actually do to make a difference in 2012.
5. Every night, re-read page one: your vision for 2012. Review your day and celebrate the things that happened or actions you took that fell into alignment with your dreams for 2012. Write them down in your journal along with any insights.  DO NOT judge yourself for things you may have done that didn’t keep you on your path.
6. Whenever you have a decision to make, ask yourself: “Will this action take me closer or further away from my goals for 2012?” Choose the action or thought that is most in sync with your vision for the new year.

Paying attention, becoming aware of the synchronistic events that support your dreams for the future is a source of happiness in itself. So is celebrating the small changes you’ve made that enable your vision.

Gratitude and appreciation are emotions that stimulate a cascade of neural, hormonal and biochemical events that benefit the entire body.

So the bonus to this exercise can be greater health and well being. Let me know how you’re doing with the exercise and do share your results.

Have a healthy, happy new year!

 

How did the custom of setting New Year’s resolutions begin and why do they end up causing more stress than good results?

As early as the 17^th century “the Puritans urged their children to skip the (New Year’s) revelry and instead spend their time reflecting on the year past and contemplating the year to come. In this way they adopted again the old custom of making resolutions. These were enumerated as commitments to better employ their talents, treat their neighbors with charity, and avoid their habitual sins,” writes Bill Petro in his post of January 3^rd –  History of New Year’s Resolutions: Where did they begin?

These lofty Puritanical intentions have through time turned in to a “vicious cycle of making New Year’s resolutions and then failing to live up to them,” says Steve Hutensky in his January 10th post, The Art of Making New Year’s Resolutions.

He suggests that if you set the bar appropriately, you will be able to succeed in accomplishing those resolutions. I would agree that’s true, AND you’ll avoid piling on the stress that inevitably occurs when your expectations don’t become reality. Hutensky’s 10 resolutions you should adopt are a big departure from the usual do-good intentions we all set. They include:

• Gain no more than 10 lbs before summer
• Make a point to not try anything new
• Watch more TV
• Spend less time with friends and family

His tongue-in-cheek suggestions for New Year’s resolutions would certainly avoid the stress of unaccomplished good intentions. But there may be another choice that would have the added benefit of avoiding feeling like a loser.

Imagine tuning in with your own internal wisdom when setting your intentions.

For example, let’s say you want to lose weight. You’d like to take off 10 lbs before summer. Look good in the bathing suit. That’s all good. But first, check in with your self and see if that intention is stress-inducing or stress-relieving. Here’s how:

1. Close your eyes and focus your awareness on your lips. (Yes, this sounds strange but it really works)
2. Silently ask yourself: “Does losing 10 lbs before summer make me smile?”
3. Keep that question in your mind and notice the sensations around your mouth and lips. Do you start feeling a gentle tugging towards a smile?
4. If not, then try lowering the bar in some way. Setting resolutions involving numbers seems to be a cause of stress for many. Alternatively, ask: “Does eating foods that are good for me make me smile?”
5. Keep asking the question in a different way until you feel the smile coming on. Then make that your resolution.

The idea here is to touch base with your inner wise self instead of letting your judgmental side set your resolutions and then judge you for not keeping them. Even if you’ve already made your resolutions, try testing them with the smile exercise. Then, make your adjustments based on what you’ve smiled about and chances are your New Years will be a lot happier. And a lot less stressful.

After giving us his list of low-bar resolutions, Hutensky ends by saying: Alternatively, you could consider not making any resolutions at all and just loving the version of yourself that exists today.

Does anyone have a good technique for setting stress-free resolutions? How many of you even bothered this year? Who feels good about his or her resolutions?